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| EDITOR'S NOTE ----- Welcome to volume 3. Once again, I remind you, "This is done in fun only, if you take it the wrong way, RELAX and remove that lump of coal before it turns into a diamond." Also, I give the final approval on these pages, but the stories and pics are attained from readers and my field reporter 1st. Lt. Formanek. If you deem it necessary to argue with someone over the validity of this or want to send stories and pics, email me at dchi(at)errthum.com. The stories may or may not be true--YOU be the judge!!! |
COLUMN 1 GIRL
As always, we have our beautifull C1G who has influenced the House in some way. This is Rebecca Cummings, who is working on becoming a model and possibly an actress. She visits the house occassionally and is always a joy to have as a guest. Rebecca has even written a letter to our HQ saying how Northern Iowa DChi's are truly gentlemen in every way. Thanks Ms. Cummings!TONY THE HEAD Aaaaaaall Haaaaaaiiiiiiil theeeeeee Heeeeeeaaaaaaad. We last reported about the new leadership at Northern Iowa Delta Chi proclaiming dictatorship. Now, after a visit to the house this reporter is stunned! It appears a cult has developed. Actives were observed chanting, "All hail the head," in a Gregorian manner. This was seen many times when Tony Bradely entered the room. Tony's appearance is different--it appears his head has grown! There is no information as of yet what this cult does or stands for. Developing...BOOKY??? This picture was passed to me by an anonymous source. Foozball has been a main-stay at the Delta Chi house for a long time. Organized tournaments are not uncommon. But, as this picture shows, it has stepped into the region of the illegal betting! This picture shows a booky making the bets as players get ready to play. The woman has been identified as Shelly Bromwich, ex-DChi-first-lady. We can only speculate the lack of attention as the president's wife has driven her to this new hobby....................................................................... |
MAN GIVES BIRTH TO BATBOY Yet another Batboy has emerged into our world... from a man! This unedited picture clearly shows NI DChi Shane Roach giving birth to Batboy. Mysteriously enough, Shane was nowhere to be found for comment. It was reported he is serving with his unit in Korea. Conspiritists were quick to suggest the government is hiding him somewhere for experimentational observation. The location of Batboy has yet to be verified, but reports of his location are coming from all over the world. Could this Batboy be related to the first one reported years ago? More info on older batboyWE WORK HARD, WE PLAY HARD Unbeknownst to their wives, Dan Kruse and Lincoln Schmeiser have decided to reach for that rainbow and have enlisted in the Merchant Marines. Here we see our two sailor boys enjoying some R and R somewhere in the Phillapines (sic) Word on the street is that whole new worlds have been opened to our favorite DChi's. Todd Elliott reported recieving a phone call from Dano, calling from the high seas. Apparently, our two sailors have taken their bond one step further. Todd Elliott, very shaken by news of the two's new found love, was seen sobbing muttering about Dano and Lincoln going the way of the steelworker. Troy Beam in his response to the news said, "Who wouldn't prefer the company of men."PAUL ROTH AND TAE-BO Here we see a trimmed down Paul Roth after six weeks on the Tae-bo regimeent. Paul is quoted as saying, "I didn't think anything would ever motivate me as much as Godan did, but with TaeBo I have found a new direction." Local bar owners have reported a decrease in sales since Paul's Tae-bo kick started. NOTE: Godan is the book Paul credits as giving him the strength to do 21 shots of tequilla in one night. ...................................................................... |
