So what's a chief editor to do but make light of the situation? :P
---Troy Errthum [dchi(at)errthum.com]
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| Well, well, well, it finally happened.
After years of resisting the system while continuing to have fun, the fun finally ran out.
What can I say, it sucks.
Where am I going to drink and pass out next Homecoming?
Who will babysit my drunk ass as I cry about how thin and rich I was in college?
Guess I'll have to bring the wife.
Anyway, salute to those that kept it going for so long.
It was quite a ride and I don't have any regrets about being a member.
Best time of my life, hands down. So what's a chief editor to do but make light of the situation? :P ---Troy Errthum [dchi(at)errthum.com] |
COLUMN 1 GIRL
painting by John CollierIn this issue on such short notice I have given the title of C1G to Lady Godiva. Mrs. Godiva was known for fighting for what she thought was right and being proud of who she was. She along with her Husband were great fighters for the common people of their village and did lots of philanthropy. Of course there was that little incident where she rode through town naked. But who hasn't done that once or twice? Anyway, the important thing is she was riding a horse.PARADE FLOAT CONNECTED TO DELTA CHI?
Reports are coming in of an anticipated UNI Homecoming float to be entered by unknown parties, although rumors point to Northern Iowa Delta Chi.
This picture was passed by an anonymous tipper.
Although the float here looks harmless, the informant assures me it is not.
We are not sure exactly how it will fit in with UNI's 2003 Homecoming theme.
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HOUSE FUNDS SUCKED DRY BY DEMOCRATS
From our FoxNews correspondent comes this news break.
It has been rumored that much of the House funds were used to get Democrats in Iowa re-elected!
It is believed that donations were secretly channeled through Delta Chi in order to get around the new campaign donation laws.
Democrats in Waterloo/Cedar Falls "donated" money to the fraternity which is a non-profit organization.
It in return helped fund media expenditures such as pamphlets, posters, etc.
For unknown reasons, more money was used to help the political party than they gave and House funds were depleted.
House members, Democrats, and Copy Works had no comment.
(Picture shows Iowa Senator Tom Harkin who may or may not have benefited.)
HOMELESS WERE USED TO BOOST NUMBERS
In this alarming report, we uncover how Delta Chi's used the homeless to boost their numbers.
We were tipped off about this by one homeless gentlemen who went by the name of Ramblin' Jed.
He decided to leave and rat them out after living conditions got so bad at the House and no one would help him clean up the mess.
Jed then went on to describe how several homeless people were living there free to help the fraternity make the numbers required by their International Head Quarters.
We interviewed head of the Housing Corporation who owns the property, Tom Hart, who only commented, "It's not a problem anymore."
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