Camille Paglia would say that this book is boring.  As she sits on her leather couch watching “The Nanny,” listening to the Spice Girls, and blabbing on the phone, she would say something like this:

    And so I read this book called “Cyber” something by a Vincent Vitardi or something and it was the most boring book in the world.  There were no pictures, no color, and the whole book just went on and on about issues concerning the Internet.  Oh, yeah!  It was called “CyberReader.”  Now I remember.  That’s why it wasn’t any good; it forced me to read.  I mean this guy Vituba could have totally made a great movie out of this book, or at least a made-for-TV mini-series, but instead he writes this long and boring book that makes you sit still and concentrate on one thing.  BOR-ING!

    And then, the author has the nerve to make it an anthology.  Oh, he couldn’t have just said what he wanted to say.  Noooooo.  He had to use a bunch of other people’s works that are all related somehow to his purpose.  So not only do you have to actually read the book, but then you have to think about the pieces.  I don’t know about you but I like to be spoon-fed all of my information.  That way I’m not led to critically analyze what’s being said.  I just accept it as true!

    Plus, this book is so mono-emotional and completely static. Vitanko needed to put more pieces in it that involved scandal, lust, sorrow, and chaos.  That’s what the real Internet is about: Sex.  I know I can’t get enough of that orgy-chatline.  His book only talks about that kind of stuff for one chapter.  And that’s the stuff that goes on in the real world: orgies, betrayals, cover-ups, etc.  Well, at least that’s what TV raised me to believe.

    So, all in all, Vitburger’s book bit the big one.  It is totally unentertaining and does nothing in portraying the real world.  Plus, he talks about issues that don’t even concern me.  Why should I care about those issues when I’m totally self-centered and everything in the world should entertain me?  Life is just a big movie all for me.  That's why it's funny to see someone get kicked in the crotch, because I know that’s god's way of making the movie of life a comedy.  Oh, and did I also mention that I’m a complete moron?  ‘Cause I am.